Annette


Author of How to Manifest Your SoulMate with EFT

Zodiac: Scorpio

My line of work: SoulMate Coach

My creative talent: Author



The Right Reasons You Attract the Wrong People

The Right Reasons You Attract the Wrong People

Date 2014-02-01 15:31:57

The RIGHT Reasons You Attract the WRONG People** People pay therapists thousands of dollars to help them identify their blind spots in relationships so that they can stop attracting the “wrong people.” I like to call this, “What’s in My Shadow?” The Shadow is the part of your subconscious mind that contains characteristics of your personality that you deny in yourself. It contains both positive and negative contents that we project onto others. Projection simply means that we see those positive or negative characteristics in others, while denying them in ourselves. According to Jungian author, Robert A. Johnson, “the most powerful and valuable projection one ever makes is falling in love.” For better or for worse, we attract and fall in love with people who will carry our Shadow for us, so that we can work out and claim our hidden power. If we fail to do this, fail to claim and integrate our Shadow aspects, we continue to attract the same kind of disappointing romantic partners over and over again. What we are trying to do in this process is to become whole. Again, Robert A. Johnson says, “To honor and accept one’s own shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime.” Unfortunately, most of us don’t know “What’s in My Shadow?” since it is operating outside of our awareness. Since, I am now only the Elite SoulMate Coach, but also a therapist, so I am going to give you the cheat sheet. Among the following statements you will surely find at least a few that anger or insult you. If so, you have stumbled upon a gold mine. Those statements are where you have some work to do. To empower yourself to have exactly what you want in your current or future relationships, own the disowned parts of yourself instead of dating them. Note in your journal the statements below that apply to you. You can tell by reading each statement. The ones that evoke a strong emotional reaction, especially of denial or repulsion, indicate what is hiding in your Shadow. Each of these can be turned into a tapping statement in order to claim the power hidden in them. This is not an exhaustive list. Once you get the idea, you will notice how and when you project your Shadow in your daily interactions with people. Here we go: If you attract partners who use and abuse you, it’s because you don’t know what you deserve. If you attract partners who can’t commit, it’s because you are not truly committed to having what you want. If you attract partners who suck the life out of you, it’s because you don’t have strong boundaries. If you attract partners who are controlling, it’s because you are addicted to playing the victim. If you attract partners who cheat, it’s because you are not willing to be fully present. If you attract partners who tolerate your cheating, it’s because you have a fear of intimacy. If you attract partners who are untrustworthy, it’s because you don’t trust your gut or listen to yourself. If you attract partners who are fixer-uppers, it’s because you avoid or deny your own needs. If you attract partners who are addicted to food, sex, work or drugs, it’s because you are co-dependent. If you attract partners who are needy and clingy, it’s because you discount and deny your own needs. If you attract partners who are always trying to change you, it’s because you avoid full responsibility for your life. If you attract partners who only deal in superficialities, it’s because you haven’t plumbed your own depths. If you attract partners who want to rescue you, it’s because you haven’t rescued yourself. If you attract partners who are takers, it’s because you are addicted to people-pleasing and blaming. If you attract partners who criticize and berate you, it’s because you have hidden guilt and are in need of self-forgiveness. If you attract partners whom you can never please, it’s because you aren’t pleasing yourself. If you attract partners who want only sex, it’s because you haven’t mastered the art of negotiation. If you attract partners who are silent, it’s because you are afraid of others’ thoughts, feelings and needs. If you attract partners who are passive and can’t make decisions, it’s because you have a need to always be in control. If you attract partners who steal your money and possessions, it’s because you trust untrustworthy people. If you attract partners who aren’t turned on by you, it’s because you don’t value or respect your sexuality. If you attract partners who avoid conflicts, it’s because you don’t want to know who they really are or show who you really are. If you attract partners who are rage-aholics, it’s because you fear and deny your own rage. If you attract partners who are boring, it’s because you aren’t in touch with your own aliveness and creativity. If you attract partners who are immature, it’s either because you want to parent them or you want a playmate. If you attract partners who demean you, it’s because you have low self-esteem. If you attract partners who are cold and unaffectionate, it’s because you don’t allow warmth and closeness. If you attract partners who are “bad boys,” it’s because you need to rebel. If you attract partners who are “too good” for you by virtue of some amazing talent or personal strength, it’s because you haven’t developed that in yourself.



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